To Be There
by unnecessarykash
Summary: Okay so episode 2x10 Bonfire of Vanity didn't have such a satisfying ending, so this is my Tag or AU version, to ease my own mind. Chuck calls Blair because he's feeling bad for missing her party, but Blair being Blair isn't so sweet about it.
1. Chapter 1

Okay kids, so here is another multi-chap story that I'm working on. Hopefully this one will be easier to update. To those of you who are reading my other story "And She was My Savior" I'll be updating soon, I just seemed to have written myself into a corner by writing the story in Chuck's 1st person POV. But anyway without further ado! Here is chapter 1 of "To Be There"

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Blair sat on her bed, cell phone in hand. " I am not pathetic, I am not pathetic" was the mantra in her head, along with "I will not call him, I will not call him" Tonight was the night of Blair's eighteenth birthday party. This was supposed to be the party of the year. Well at least the party of her year. She was finally old enough and she had decided to have her first adult party.

The party may not have gone as planned, with all the drama with Cyrus and Cyndi Lauper, but surprisingly that isn't what Blair ended up caring about. The only thing she cared about is the one guest who had not arrived. Chuck. It's funny that no matter how hard she tried, it always came back to him.

As if reading her mind the phone rang. Blair looked to the display. "Chuck" was blinking back at her. She took a couple of deep breathes before answering, she didn't want to seem too desperate. That would ruin the little game they were constantly playing.

"Hello?" she answered calmly

"Hello Waldorf" came Chuck's subdued tone.

Instantly Blair was on alert. She rarely heard this tone coming from him, and when she did, it never meant anything good. But she wouldn't let him know that she noticed. She knew he would shut himself down without a second thought, and then she would never get any information from him.

"Bass," she greeted coldly. "did you forget what tonight was?"

"…."

"Bass!!" she practically screamed.

"Blair did you actually believe that I would forget your eighteenth birthday party?" Chuck finally answered.

"Well I didn't think you would, but then again you didn't show up to my party. And you can see why that might impair my previous judgment." she replied petulantly.

Blair could hear Chuck sigh through the line "Waldorf.." he trailed off. Again with that voice, only this time it didn't sound just subdued, it sounded defeated. Blair felt as if she had been punched in the stomach. Defeat was not a word that was in Chucks vocabulary. Something was up. Blair no longer reigned in her nosy nature.

"What is going on with you Bass? What's wrong?" she asked impatiently.

"Just let it go Blair, I'm really not up for one of your interrogations right now."

"Fine. Have a great night Chuck, thanks for calling and making this night so much more pleasurable, I truly appreciate your effort."

"Blair, wait!"

"What Chuck? As you can tell I'm really not in the mood to play your games tonight, so unless you have something important to say I really don't want to hear it."

"Can you come over?" Chuck asked quietly.

"….."

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Thanks for reading!! Please Review if you have the time. It would be just lovely!


	2. In the Dark

Finally I am continuing this story!!! I am so sorry to any followers of this story. You may be small in numbers but you're still super important. I'm not sure if this is going to have another chapter but we'll find out! But here we go! On with Chapter 2; "In the Dark"

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"Can you come over?" Chuck asked quietly.

"….."

Chuck sensed her hesitation and quickly backtracked, he could not believe how pathetic he was. He was practically begging Blair to come over, he was beginning to think that something must be wrong with him.

"Never mind Waldorf, forget I asked." he replied coldly.

"No, no I'll be there in ten Bass. Just… leave the door unlocked okay?" Blair knew she needed to get there fast, especially when the response to her request was just a quiet "Okay.." from Chuck. Something was wrong.

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(Suite 1812)

Blair knocked softly on the door before entering, upon entering she noticed that the lights were off and there was some soft music playing in the background. This is definitely not Chuck-like. She looked around, but she really couldn't see much in the dark. So she did the only thing she could, she called out for him.

"Chuck" she said quietly, " where are you?"

Chuck answered her with only a sigh, which Blair heard coming from the bed. As she got closer to the bed she was finally able to see him. He was laying flat on his back with his arm draped across his eyes, his usually perfect hair was mussed in all different directions, he still wore his clothes from the day, with shoes on, and scarf loose.

Blair was suddenly very nervous. She knew how to deal with every version of Chuck; Angry, smarmy, cocky, and sometimes even sweet. But never vulnerable. Blair had a lot of natural instincts when it came to Chuck, but she wasn't sure taking care of him in his current state would be one of them. Though all she could do was try, after all he had called her, he was counting on her for once in his life.

Blair approached the bed, and reached down slowly, not wanting to startle him, and began unlace his shoes. She placed them on the floor and then removed her own, and climbed up in bed with him. He made no move to acknowledge her presence next to him, which frustrated Blair to no end. _He_ called _her_, _he_ asked _her _to come over.

Blair reached up and pulled his hand away from his face, he continued to look and the ceiling and wouldn't look at her but she could see the wetness seeping from the corners of his eyes. Blair was so confused. What the hell is going on!? None of his actions were making sense. This was not the Chuck that she had spoken with this morning at school, or even the one later in the day, he had been perfectly fine. Something had to have happened between now and then. She knew she shouldn't push, but she needed to know.

"Chuck." she said softly

"….." still no words from him.

She needed to do something drastic to get his attention, to make him talk to her. She used her best tool, her body. Blair moved her body over his in a completely non-sexual way, but enough to share her warmth with him. She supported herself on one arm and brought the other hand up to run through his hair. His eyes closed at the contact, it felt like it had been so long since the last time they had touched. .

"Chuck, what's wrong?" she asked "You can tell me."

Chuck took a minute to contemplate what she was saying, could he really trust her? This was not about Dan Humphrey, or him threatening to expose the information about his father. It was about his Father. Period. He never intended for his father to find out that he felt like he blamed him for his mother's death. That was something that he had accepted that he was going to feel forever, and it was something that Bart would never know. But one night out with Humphrey changed all of that.

He had let his guard down, and that was how he ended up in this mess in the first place. So how could telling Blair be the right thing to do? He had told Dan about his mother, and it had ended up in a story. The story of Charlie Trout. He had never felt so humiliated in his entire life. He felt like the air had been sucked out of the room. He had known about the story, but was fine with dealing with the embarrassment in private. But now his father knew, and it felt like the end of the world.

Chuck suddenly came to the conclusion that he couldn't deal with this on his own. He had nothing left to do but tell Blair what had happened, after all she is the only one who made him feel like he could breathe. He was worried that once she knew what he had done to his mother that she would never want him again. But he felt as if they loved each other enough that he was allowed to bare himself to her. They may not have said those words but they both knew how they felt, and that entitled them to some trust. So deep breath here we go.

He opened his eyes and reached for the bedside table and the room was suddenly immersed in soft light from the small lamp sitting there. Blair was confused for a moment until a file was suddenly placed in her hands. Blair looked to Chuck in question, he still had yet to speak so he just nodded.

Blair extracted herself from Chuck to sit on the edge of the bed with her back facing him. She felt upset at the loss of warmth and also because she knew anything that was held within this file could not be anything close to positive. With a deep breath Blair opened the file, and was greeted with the title "Charlie Trout". Instantly she knew that this was what brought Chuck into this vulnerable state and she wasn't sure she wanted to read the rest, but she knew she had to.

Chuck was a bundle of nerves as he watched Blair read. This was either going to break them, or make them stronger. And through past experience it was easier to expect the "breaking" part to set in. Blair had seemed completely stoic at first, but Chuck watched her body language change with each sentence that she read. Soon she was breathing strangely fast and her face was turning a lovely red color. This was it, she was going to leave and never speak to him again, he just knew it.

Blair turned around to face him abruptly, grabbing his face, her eyes looking at him searchingly. "How could you have not told me about this?" she asked.

For the first time since she arrived in his room, Chuck spoke dejectedly "I didn't tell you because of the way that you're looking at me right now. I knew this was how it would be. I tell you about what I did to my mother and it's over. How could someone want to lo--, care about someone who killed their own mother. It's okay Blair, you don't have to explain. I suggest you leave now, while you still can..."

For the first time, possibly ever, Blair was stunned into silence. He thought she would leave him because of what he "did" to his mother, this is what he had been made to believe was his fault his whole life? In that moment she knew she had never hated two people more in her life than she did Dan Humphrey and Bart Bass. Dan for having the nerve to put something this personal about Chuck down on paper, and Bart for allowing Chuck to go 17 years of life believing his mother's death was his fault. It was no mystery why Chuck was so guarded, he really had no one to trust. And she herself had been another person to break that trust. She needed to make amends and that was apparent now.

"Chuck" Blair began, choosing her words carefully "what I meant was, how could you not have told me about Humphrey!? We would have taken him down together! I mean obviously you haven't done anything about this. That's so not like you."

It was Chuck's turn to be confused, she wasn't mad? She didn't hate him for what he'd done? He had to be dreaming, there was no way she could possibly want to be around him now. She must be doing this out of pity, and pity is one thing Chuck Bass could not handle.

"Chuck, Chuck!" Blair yelled. He must have zoned out for a minute there.

This was not going at all like he had planned. He was going to have Blair come over, he was going to let her in on what happened because she deserved to know, and then she was going to leave. She was going to see what a monster he is and be done with him forever. He was going to set her free, he had never understood why she was interested in him anyway. Prim and proper Blair Waldorf falling for the alcoholic, teenage playboy Chuck Bass had never made sense.

Finally gathering his wits, he asked "You're not mad?"

"Mad? How could I be mad Chuck? What happened to your mom was not your fault. You could not have controlled her dying while she was giving birth to you, even if you wanted to. This is not your fault." Blair explained with fervor "What is your fault is letting Humphrey get away with something like this! Come on!"

"Blair, my own father blames me for her death, how could you not see that it's my fault? If I wouldn't have come into this world she never would have died and my father would still have his beloved wife… Sometimes I think everyone would have just been better off… you know better than anyone the damage that I cause to those around me."

Blair had had enough of Chuck's self-doubt. No matter what had come to pass between them, it did not matter in this moment. Chuck felt as if he didn't deserve love. "Chuck, I am positive that your dad does not blame you for her death."

Chuck sighed "Well he may claim that he doesn't, but his actions prove otherwise. This week I bought hockey tickets as a gift for his company's anniversary because I overheard him telling a colleague that he had been wanting to see a game. But he turned me down. He turned me down, then the very same day asks Humphrey to accompany him to the very same game… Yeah Blair, he was just doing that out of love for me…"

Blair didn't know what to say to that but Chuck continued anyway. " It took Humphrey a only hours to achieve the approval from my father that I have been trying to achieve my self all the years of my life. How is that supposed to make me feel Blair? Please tell me?" Chuck ended his voice breaking on the word "Please".

End Chapter 2

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Okay ya'll I'm so sorry again for the delay, school is kickin' my rear and I have had a really hard time getting this chapter right. I ended it here mostly because it is getting way too long and also because I'm not exactly sure where I'm going. What else is new right? But if you have time please Read and Review!!! And by the way it looks like there will be another chapter, so keep me motivated with reviews. Thanks again--UnnecessaryKash


	3. Stay

Woo! Finals are now over, now I can take some time to work on my stories!! I have been itching to write, but I haven't had the time. So here we go Chapter 3! "Stay"

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"Please." Chuck begged from his prone position on the bed. Tears were coming more freely now, rolling unbidden down his face. He knew he was asking her a question that she had no way of knowing the answer to, but he was completely lost. He was desperate to understand his life and the turns it had taken, he was desperate to understand why his father could not forgive him.

He would happily give his life for his mother if it would change anything, if it would bring her back, but it wasn't possible. Instead he would spend the rest of his life carrying the burden of his mother's death and hope that someday someone could look past what he had done and love him despite the fact that he was a murderer. Maybe Blair would be that person.

Blair flicked off the lamp and moved to lay back down, covering Chuck's body with her own. Once again she began to run her fingers through his hair like she had minutes before. He continued to stare blankly at the ceiling like they had never spoken, it was obvious that he was trying to re-sustain the walls he had momentarily let down. But she would not let him this time. She loved him whether he knew it or not and she was determined to help him face down his demons.

Blair could see the wheels turning in his head, she had no idea what awful things he could be thinking to himself, but she knew it couldn't be healthy. Her heart clenched at the sight of his tears, because she had never seen Chuck cry. To see him in such a vulnerable state shook her to her core.

Although Blair was baffled by this version of Chuck things were starting to make sense to her now. She had never understood Chuck's need for such a wild life and the cold, selfish behavior but she was learning more about his and Bart's relationship all the time, and she knew that it played a large part in how Chuck chose to act. She'd heard bits and pieces from Nate over the years but she never had any reason to care before. Thinking back on those things now she was horrified. Bart was such a bastard to Chuck, and all Chuck wanted was to impress him and in turn be loved by him. There were a few things that came to Blair's mind:

Nate had been around to hear his mother gossiping on the phone to one of her friends about how years ago she had witnessed business tycoon Bart Bass reprimanding the nanny of a then 5 year old Chuck for comforting him after he had taken a spill on the side walk and turned his little knee into a bloody mess. Bart claimed that any affection received by his son would be of his own doing, even though it was obvious that he had no intention of doing so.

After that incident Bart was known for replacing Chuck's nannies/ au pairs every few months to ensure that Chuck would be unable to form any real bond with any of them. He was barely present for Chuck's childhood and when he was all he could do was reek havoc on any relationship Chuck could have formed.

Even at the young age of 11 years old even Bart was able to see how insatiable his young son was becoming and knew something would have to be said. But instead of properly sitting down and discussing the "Birds and the Bees" like any normal father would, Chuck got a completely different experience.

Chuck related a story to Nate about sitting in his room one night and looking up to see his father standing in his doorway just staring at him. After a few minutes of awkward silence Bart went as far as to toss Chuck his first box of condoms accompanied by the words "Be sure to clean up your mess." before turning and walking away leaving Chuck to stare at his retreating form in confusion.

Blair was convinced that this is where Chuck derived his blasé relationship with sex. He was young and deprived of any attention and affection besides the friendship he had formed with Nate and Blair. But this all changed the day that Georgina Sparks walked into their lives and offered Chuck his first experience of the sexual kind. They were both children that were cheated out of their parents' love and they found comfort in each other.

Chuck quickly discovered that he held a talent in giving women sexual experiences and he was constantly offered reassurance and praise in that area. It seemed to fill a small amount of the hole that Bart had left in his heart and it all became worth it.

That is where the whole trend started, from a young age of 11 or 12 and up until his current age of 17 this is where he sought solace from the feelings of rejection from his father. Chuck used sex as a crutch, and it had served his purpose until he formed feelings for Blair. Blair had changed everything for Chuck and she was fully aware of that because he had done the same for her. Chuck messed things up and he felt justified in his actions until he saw how much he hurt her.

Chuck knew what a relationship with Blair would mean and that is why he ran away from it as fast as he possibly could. He left her on that helipad because he could not face growing up or the possibility of losing his crutch by becoming monogamous. His father said spending a summer with Blair would change him, and Chuck did not see change as a bad thing but what happened when Blair saw him for who he was? When she saw the real him? He was sure that once she saw the real him she would no longer want him and he would be left with nothing but the new self she had helped him create. And that is why he decided to end it before it began. But here she was, protecting him from himself and also his demons. Or shall we say _Demon. _

So here they were laying in his bed, in the dark just being with one another. They were both consumed by their own thoughts and felt content to remain silent. Chuck felt completely exposed, but for some reason he felt no fear, only embarrassment from his display of weakness. Another scar left by Bart. They would discuss things further but tonight was not a night for words. Before tonight Chuck would have tried his hardest to find comfort through sex, but he just wanted to be there with her. To find comfort like a normal person. Chuck Bass wanted to be held.

Blair was content to lay over Chuck and run her fingers through his soft locks of dark hair. This action felt more intimate to her than any sexual activity they had ever participated in. She could try to speak but she knew that no words could fix him tonight. Tonight was about comforting him and she was completely willing to give herself to him in any way he would have her. But it did seem strange to her that he had not turned their night into something sexual, that was just his way. Not that she was complaining of course, she was just surprised.

Blair's thoughts were soon interrupted by Chuck's body moving. She was sure he was going to leave her now but instead he just rolled over onto his side. "Chuck?" she questioned.

"What Blair?" he answered back.

"What are you doing?"

Startling Blair, Chuck rolled into his previous position on his back. He wordlessly grabbed Blair's hand and then rolled back onto his side bringing her arm to rest around his waist, her hand tightly grasped in his.

"Blair could you…?"

"Could I what?" she asked, still confused.

"Could you just stay here with me? Like this?"

It fell into place then, Chuck Bass was asking her to stay with him. More than that Chuck was asking her to hold him. Another thing she was sure that he had missed out on as a child.

"Of course Chuck. I can stay. But will you talk to me in the morning?"

"We can do anything you want Blair, just don't leave." he responded, the defeated tone strong in his voice.

Blair didn't answer him this time. She simply reached up and placed a kiss on the underside of his jaw before laying back down. She wrapped her arm tighter around him and quietly whispered.

"I'm here…I'm here…I'm here…"

He rubbed the back of her hand to acknowledge that he heard her words, and soon after all that could be heard was Chuck's quiet ,even breathing. Blair paced her breathing to Chuck's and they both drifted off into dreamland….

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Alright kiddies! Chapter 3!! I hope it wasn't too awful. This chap is kind of awkward where there isn't a lot of dialogue, but I kind of like it that way. But anywho, let me know what you think. I love reviews. I love them almost as much as I love Chuck and Blair. And that's saying a lot. So please if you have the time drop me a line. Thanks for reading! Until next time---UnnecessaryKash.


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